How do you be true to yourself when you don't know who that is?

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Over the coming weeks, I will be sharing a mixture of tools and guidance to help you get clarity on what your personal brand is. These tools follow my RISE personal brand methodology.

I was talking the other day with one of my oldest friends. We'd both recently had one of those 'how the hell did I get here' life moments. You know the ones, where you mentally hover above whatever moment you are dealing with for a bit and go... 'this is NOT what I had pictured for my life'. It can start you down a bit of a spiral.

We talked about how rather than doing things that she wanted in life, my friend was doing things expected of her. She had drifted. She was a successful executive in a multi-national company, mother, and wife. But now in her early 40's she struggled to think of what it was that she wanted.

This disconnect has left my friend feeling unsure about her career. She is unhappy and feels that in many ways her life isn't hers, and she is play-acting, rather than LIVING her own life. Pass the margaritas, please. Looking at another 40 years of that as her future was downright depressing.

I know my friend is NOT ALONE in this dilemma. There's no doubt to me that once you hit that late 30s early 40's age you reach a point where things shift. This coincides with big life changes; kids in school, divorces, job changes, or new businesses. You feel a greater desire to do what feels right, not what's expected. You have less f*cks to give for the things that don't matter. The challenge is, this sometimes leads to the question:

What DOES matter to me? Who am I anyway?

We hear the flippant 'be true to you' all the time, but... what happens if you don't know who that actually is? It feels like something that you 'should' know, but at the same time, very few of us actually make time to find out.

In the next couple of weeks, I will be sharing some tools that I use with my coaching clients. These tools help them understand their personal brand. The process of discovering your personal brand is a process of personal discovery. You can't have one without the other.

This week I am going to share one activity you can do to begin to get to know who you are.

"I am..."

What's the first thing that pops into your head? Your name?

The title of your profession?

Is it some other label that you use to describe where you think you fit in the world?

Was your first instinctive answer a real sign of who you are, or was it a role that you are filling?

If it was a role title I am not surprised. It's the answer that most of my clients and friends would give too. But as easy as this title is, it does very little to define who we are, at our core. The roles that we play in our day-to-day can define us. We spend so much time DOING what is required of us. We forget to BE us.

As we step into a role we also shroud ourselves with the related expectations. For example. I am a mother, so I am expected to be; selfless, nurturing, an educator, can't swear, be a housekeeper, and cook.

So, being the good girls, we act. We take on the tasks and expectations of that role. Regardless of whether any of these traits are instinctively US. Over the years we start to associate more with the role than ourselves.

Now consider all the different roles that you take on in your life. How many are genuine signs of who you are? The OG you is in there somewhere. But chances are it's hidden underneath the weight of the roles and expectations that we layer on top.

The activity I want you to do is to brainstorm all the roles you take on in your life. Dig into the roles. Define the behaviours that are the things that you do because you have to. Then, break down which of these gives you a clue of the real you. I have a downloadable guide on how to complete this activity. You can access it here: Download worksheet

Congrats on the journey to discovering yourself. Remember - the purpose of this journey is to know yourself, so you can be yourself. Next week I will be sharing another tool I use to understand what is important to you, your values.

Recognising your strengths and who you are is step one of my RISE personal brand method. If you want to know more, reach out.

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